Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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