I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
