someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
