Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
