My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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