Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
