hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize