the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Randomize
