ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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