I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
