Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
