Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
