Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
