my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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