Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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