i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
