So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
