we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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