All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
