So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize