My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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