dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
