just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
