Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
