Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I think people are normalizing furries
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
