Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
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