I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Do vagina's smell?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
