I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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