Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
