I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
