I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
