Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Randomize
