Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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