Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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