She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
