I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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