Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
