erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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