Me too!
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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