I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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