Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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