mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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