wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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