Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
