He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
