i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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