we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
