so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
