Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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