we're blogging at a bar
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
