I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
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