marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
