Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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