DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
