I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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