I could have mohawked her pubes.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
