she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
