the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize