Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
