Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
