hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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