windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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