What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
