Don't you send me to vm
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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